HOW TO STOP "SHOULDING" YOURSELF
When I say “shoulding” yourself, I mean making decisions based off the expectations, approval, and acceptance of others. The problem with this is that this becomes a never-ending cycle of self-sabotage. Once you start doing this it is very difficult to get out of. And oftentimes when you’re constantly making decision based off trying to make other people happy, you’re not making yourself happy. Instead, you’re living a life that’s based off trying to gain the approval of others. And how are you supposed to be happy in a life that has been built off other people’s expectations of you? You can’t.
WHEN YOU THINK OF SUCCESS... WHAT DO YOU THINK OF?
You more than likely think of money, your job and financial security. For those of us who live in Western Society, we have been conditioned to believe that Financial Success = Happiness. A prime example of this is that one of the first things we say to somebody when we meet them is “what do you do for a living”? We don’t ask people about their hobbies, their interests or the things that make them smile.
But where does passion come in? Where does the excitement for life come in? Now don’t get me wrong, I know a lot of people that would be very happy and content with having all that stuff in life and I’m not discrediting that at all, but there must be MORE to life than just “The American Dream” and working yourself to the bone… there must be passion, drive, and excitement in life. But we in Western Cultures prioritize class, financial security, job status, relationship status and hierarchy above everything else.
A LOT OF
TO THINGS OUTSIDE
People always talk about finding meaning or searching for meaning, but I want you to focus on creating meaning in your life.
We get into the habit of believing “If I just had that job I’d be financially secure”, or “if I just lost 15 pounds they’d find me attractive enough to date”, or “if I buy an expensive car people will like me more”. But when we think these ways we be trick ourselves into believing that happiness is something find, instead of something that we create.
Happiness isn’t about living our lives based off of the acceptance and approval of others, but it’s become so easy for us to disguise other people’s happiness and pride, as our own. I want you to break this cycle. So you can lead a more fulfilling, limitless life.
View the full episode HERE